Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Heart Wide Open...

Ashley and Bruce ~ together 13 months ~ going strong
Once in a while
Someone comes along
And changes everything
You believe about yourself.

From the time we are little, girls are romanced into the perfect fairytale, and boys are trained to be their Knights.   

It's what dreams are made of, passed down from generations of loving mothers, to their hopeful children.  

It is what I dreamed of.  
It was passed down to my children.
It's what they pass down to their children.  

Tabitha and Cody ~ together 12 yrs (married 9) ~ going strong

I didn't get my fairytale, but that doesn't mean it isn't real.  True Love is out there.  It does happen.

If there is one thing I have learned as a single woman it's this;  relationships are a two way street.  The joining together of two different forces, and making a unity of one work.  It is a roller coaster ride, and if you hold on tight, it will continue to full your very soul.   
I asked my Facebook friends one day in a post...

Are long marriages a thing of the past?    Have we lost the morals and values that keep us with one person, forever? 

Dave and Kathy ~ Married 16 yrs ~ going strong

Now I am no relationship expert, let me make that clear from the beginning, but I do enjoy seeing and talking with couples that have been married for many years.  Still buying the perfect gift for their great love... Nothing warms the heart more, and of course it gives me great hope.  . I asked one older, and much wiser, gentleman what was the secret to keeping his marriage together for so long.  This is what he told me;  "Trust is the very water that keeps love growing.  With out trust, the love dies."  added with a chuckle and a grin he said "and", he continued "she is always right."  For the rest of my day, I people watched.  I let what the Wise Gentleman said, soak in.  Sounds simple enough doesn't it?

The more I thought about it, the more his words made perfect sense.  Without complete trust, there is nothing. 

Trust opens the heart to Love.. and without an open heart, there is no love.

When the trust is broken in a relationship, it is enough to bring the greatest of loves to its knees.  The question, often asked at this point:  Is our love strong enough to rise back up? 

I would like to think I have very strong morals and values on trust in a relationship, there are just somethings you do not do when committed to another person.  As my mother once said, "even if you haven't done anything, it's how things look to others that get twisted around."  So, I stuck with the rules, and for me they worked.. just never did for the guys I've dated.  But, that's another blog.

Simple Relationship Rules..
  1. Men/Woman (other then the one your are dating) should not cross your threshold. Open communication is the key, so remember, if there is nothing to hide, why hide it. {rule is not including repairs/cleaning service, insect spraying, or your family for that matter ie; here is the trick to that one.. always make sure {s}he knows their brother/ their sister intends/showed up to visit}
  2. Male friends are never a problem, until you make them one {include your boy{girl}friend, putting him/her at ease is  first}
  3. No secrets.. what-so-ever (through the dating process, you are learning about each other.. opening closet doors and dusting off cobwebs. Why would you mess it up now?   {if there is nothing to hide, why hide it?!}
  4. Treat as you, personally, would want to be treated.  Plain and simple
  5. Love the one you are with.  No one is perfect.  {you are but half of a whole, {s}he completes you}.
These are just some simple things I follow.  Like i said before, I am no relationship expert, they are just common sense practices.  If you can't have faith in what you and your partner built together, the foundation of your relationship, then  you need to evaluate the two of you as a couple.  Your best friend is now him/her, and communication is the key to keeping it all together. 

A friend of mine found herself in a situation {where she wouldn't have been had she just followed my Simple Relationship Rules} and regretting her actions the next day {that's how it always ends up}, yet when asked if she was going to confide in her boyfriend, I was shocked to learn the answer was No.  Now, I am not hear to judge.. we each have to learn from our mistakes... but adding another problem onto the mistake already taken, just makes the problem bigger.  

Work like adults.  Live like adults.  Act like adults.   Face it like adults.

I began to wounder...
Are people in relationships, under the misconception of, what the other doesn't know wont hurt them?...

I would like to think ~  that not all couples think that way.  Just stop and look at couples around you, and see what having trust brings.  And remember, if there is nothing to hide, why hide it.

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