Sunday, May 29, 2011

Vacation Adjustments ..

Well, this seems par for course..  Early to bed and now, early to rise.  4:30am, and I am wide awake.  Doesn't it Figure. 

 My Welcome home view Saturday, as I wait for my apartment key to arrive via Ashley ...

My first week back hasn't been to bad at all.  Although I miss New York like crazy;  the Garden City neighbor hood and it's colorful flowers.  The cool mornings and breezy afternoons.  My uncle Billy and Aunt Nina.  Riding around on the subways and Penn Station's public entertainment.  Lunch with Paco and Carlos, visiting with Jose'.  I miss everything about it.  I came back with a strong Bronx/Brooklyn accent, thank you Paco, Carlos, and Jose' for sharing; and my boss Amanda who began teaching me the correct pronouncement of particular words. Such as Talk, Walk, Right.. just to name a few.  Sadly enough; the longer I am away from the big city lights, that harder it is to hold on.

  Morning visit with my sweety Paul via Web Cam ...

I spent my first day back, talking to my sweety on the phone and watching his wonderful face via Webcam.  Awe, Modern technology,  really need to research and blog about the person who invented Web cam's, a hero in my book.  Early morning coffee.. late night adventurous stories of our days... and just hanging out are spent right in font of our Web cams.  There is nothing that could compare to coming home after a long day; and sitting with him and sharing.  Even if it is through Web cam.  It is in the thought of knowing, he is 1300 miles away; and waits for me to log on, for that little green light to shine, and our face to appear on each others monitor.  To hear "Hi Baby" or "Hi Pretty Lady, how was your day?"   Simply takes my breath away every time, and warms the pit of my stomach. 

I spent my first two days working on my blood pressure.  I arrived in Texas on Saturday the 21st, had Sunday off to rest up, ending up calling in Monday because I was so dizzy and light headed; to the point of being very sick to my stomach.  Nauseous feeling.  Which meant, Monday afternoon, I was sitting at the doctors office.  Before making the appointment I used my at home Blood Pressure cuff, and sat staring at the machine when it was finished squeezing my arm.  As the blood rushed back to my finger tips, the Rely On machine blinked three times.. and displayed the numbers of 162/116.  Oh yeah, it was time to pay the piper.  $70.00 bucks worth of piper paying to be quite frank. 

Ashley and Arianna took me to Family Diagnostic Center, and I waited to be seen.  The last time my blood pressure was real high; I found myself sitting on a gurney in the ER,  a Nitroglycerin patch slapped on to my left breast, a blood thinner injection ~ that left the flesh in the middle of my belly a pretty deep purple, and one nasty dry Nitroglycerin pill that waited to dissolve under my tongue.   When a doctor or nurse tells you "Now, you're going to feel a sudden rush to your head.  OK?  It is going to make you feel like your head is going to pop off and your face might explode.."  Listen to them, cause that is exactly how it felt.  All I could tell you is, I wasn't doing that again.   I just sat and waited until it was my turn to be called; sure the $70 bucks hurt {my pride}, but is was ten times better then my face exploding.  Hands down.

Arianna held my hand; past experiences she was reliving.  "Hurt Neya?"  she would ask "Has to cry"  she  said.  Keeping tight grip on my pointer finger.  "No baby, Nana's not going to get a shot."  while shaking her head, she looked at me with those big brownish black eyes, easily nodded and said "ese"  The gift of looking into the future; now why didn't I see that one coming?w.  By the time the doctor walked into the room where  I was waiting, and retook my blood pressure it had climbed to 172/126..  The power of knowing went to bite the bullet and seek professional help.  The long and short of it; Arianna was right, and Demerol was one wild ride.  With a band-aid on my left hip, a different pill in my system, and 30 minutes of waiting for bad side effects... I was riding in the car with Ashley and heading toward Franklin Elementary school, time to pick up Jayla.

I was not only tired from the shot, but before I left the doctors office, I had to past the Blood Pressure Test, and scored quite well.  I would like take the time and brag about that for a second.  105/85 was my new score and I was given  the "Pass Go" ticket needed to stay out of the hospital.   There just  wasn't anyway I would get the hospital to agree to wireless internet connections and web-cams.  The injection left me even more dizzy then before, tired and very grouchy.  I am sure I became grumpy's room mate for the rest of the day.  Even Tabitha and Garrett came over, but didn't stay very long at all.  Oh, I haven't even asked Garrett if he likes his New York Snow Globe.   When I was asked by Tabitha what doctor I had seen, I waited for Big Bird to appear as the words E'burt came out.  Had to be the Demerol.

Hill Regional Hospital Hillsboro, Texas
I napped some as, Ashley worked on trying to hook up a wireless connection that would allow her to bounce off my signal from the apartment building next to me, and the girls climbed on and off my bed.  One of the girls even lifted my eye lid in attempts to wake me.  I couldn't move as I heard this awful grunting sound escape my neck area.  I was flying high as a kite.  Tuesday morning greeted me with the same dizzy feeling, if not worst; and my hands were shaking something fearful.  I knew there was no way another day missed of work fit into my morning.  So; I walked slowly, talked slowly, turned slowly and apologized alot to our Pharmacy customers and patients.  Most were very understanding, and helpful.. just as long as I kept them informed as to why my day was in turtle mode.  I have to say, Wednesday brought some of the same customers and patients back to my counter, and they even asked if I was feeling any better.  I only worked until noon on Tuesday, long enough to ensure the arrival of Lucy; our Pharmacy coverage for the rest of the afternoon. 

With people rushing past me, at this point walking faster then me was rushing, shopping carts flying by in all directions, and the blur of over head lights; I knew I had to exit the building before someone would have to pick me up off the floor.  How embarrassing that would have been.  Ashley was already on her way to get me, I made it to the lockers and time clock area by keeping my head down and holding on to shelves as I walked pass.  It was a good thing that one of the door greeters/cashier assisted me to my car.  I really wanted to just pass out; let me clarify that ~ My body really wanted to pass out, I on the other hand was begging myself  "Please, just make it to the car and I promise we will rest at home, I swear !".  Ashley picked me up some lunch, heaven sent her to me that day, and I held on tight to the banister as I started the climb to the second floor of my building.  Why oh why didn't I request the bottom floor when I moved in?!?

Good Wednesday Morning to me.  Vision like this i long to share with Paul ..

With rest, lunch, and the sound of "Hi baby, how are you feeling?"  I knew everything was going to be right as rain.  As the week went on, I felt better, stronger physically.  While emotionally, my heart pounded harder with each phone call or web cam visit from Paul.  The emptiness burnes a little longer.  The lump becomes harder to sallow.  The fire in my soul grows higher.  And the tears flow easier as I sleep.  Sometimes, I  wake up crying, my pillow holding carefully each tear that falls while inviting me to rest my head a while.  On the nights it becomes to hard, I load pictures of my New York trip on to Facebook.  Editing and cropping each photo, wishing the night won't call upon the sandman.  Longing for the sun to brighten my room, and AT&T to connect me with Paul in Florida. 

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