Goodbye Ms Independent ...

Music is:   Life.  Love.  Inspirational.  

Often, and there is no way I am the only one, there are a few songs that speak to my soul.  I can relate to the words, swear someone wrote a song about my life.  Peeked into my emotions and sang everything I ever thought, felt, and said; in a song.  Haven't you felt the same way when you listened to an old song or new song?  Just knew the artist was speaking right to you, singing your life. 

The original Ms Independent.  When I first heard that song years ago, I said "this song is about me".  Who needs love anyway, right?  Someone dictating when or where or how I could do something.  Someone I would have to "report" to before departing to spend time with friends.   Demanding meals, serving drinks, time keeping.  Who needs a full time adult sitter, I sure don't.

That didn't keep the "Every girls dream" phase.  Sure I searched for love.  Fell for a guy in high school who I thought didn't have an interest in me, and ended up dating plus marrying someone else.  Everything I tried to keep from, was my marriage.  The best part of him and the marriage; are my two children.  Yet, I never stopped hoping for my one and true love.  You know; I wanted the knight to ride in on a white horse and rescue me.  Love me and care for me.  Dreams of a house and white picket fence.  Happy ever after and all the rainbow colors that come along with it.  

While part of me hoped it would happen, another part of me knew some things were unreachable.  If it should happen, it would be at a great cost; I would lose myself.  So many girls and women changed who they were, and what they stood for in the name of "relationship", and I knew that would never be me.  Not again.  Not at any cost.

It was easier to date.  Have a good time in the moment.  When things became too close or real; it was time to get out and more often than not; I would do the pushing.  I became very good at it.  Relying on one person; myself.  Counting on the one true person who mattered; myself.  Keeping together all that I held close to my heart; my children.  Never letting anyone in, never getting close enough to be loved or allow myself to truly fall in love.  

Oh, that was until Ms Independent was reunited with her Knight. Years of feelings and wonder came flooding back to me.  Suddenly, I found myself wanting to learn to cook.  Longing to figure out compromise.  Needing to open my heart to feel love, and allow myself to be loved.  This is the dream I have longed for.  The everything I have always wanted, just never knew it.

 Cooking for my sweety and seeing him happy; is just what I waited years for.  Hearing his voice on the other end of the phone, makes my day brighter.  Just watching him, makes my heart flutter.

 It is the one thing I could do, endlessly ....

And daily ...

 Cooking has blended in with relationship quite nicely... and I love it.  Go figure.  Seeing the smile on my sweeties face after a hot home cooked meal, makes it all worth while.

 Fresh hot breakfast ...

 Outstanding Dinners ...

 And wonderful Desserts ...

 This Ms Independent ... is still Independent, but now I'm not alone.  Now I know love and am in love.   I have the dream, and am living the dream.   I couldn't be more happy.